Once the two became acquainted with each other, it did not take long for the sparks to fly, and after two years by each other’s sides, Tony knew it was time to make things permanent.
“There was never an ah-ha moment that I just knew that she was the one,” said Tony. “It was something that grew overtime, and it took me getting to know her more and seeing how much we had in common and that she liked me for being myself.”
The “ah-ha” moment for Katelyn came just a bit faster for her than it did Tony.
“I knew like two weeks into it,” said Katelyn. “He is one of the sweetest men I’ve ever known and treated me the way I always dreamed my future husband would treat me.”
Before he wanted the honor of sharing his last name with Katelyn, Tony knew he would have to get permission from her beloved parents, Curtis and Sherry, to make it official.
“I knew he was planning on asking her for about two months before he did it,” said Sherry. “He showed me a ring he was thinking about giving her, and said he was going to talk to Curt about something.”
That talk happened shortly after.
“He told me he thought about it for a long time, and he wanted to know if he can have her hand in marriage,” said Curtis, as he reclined back in his living room couch, surrounded by pictures of his wife and daughters. “Both of my kids fiancées asked for permission, so I thought that was refreshing.”
This was refreshing for Curtis, but it was equally refreshing for Tony to hear this from one of the most important people in Katelyn’s life.
“It would be a very difficult decision (to ask her) because I always wanted to have her family’s approval,” said Tony. “But even if they wouldn’t give me permission, I still would have asked because I know she is the one for me.”
Luckily for Tony, Curtis did give him his blessing, which is something that is very important for Katelyn.
“It matters a lot because I always wanted my parents approval on a man who they thought truly deserves me,” retorted Katelyn.
The two are now happily engaged and plan on getting married in two years time. At that point, Katelyn will be 23 and Tony will be 26.
But no matter how much love that they have for each other, every fairy tale does not have a happy ending. Divorcerate.org found that 36.6 percent of women and 38.8 percent of men aged 20-24, which is around the age that Katelyn will be when she marries Tony.
This rate is so high because of the struggles that many couples do not think about after the engagement and honeymoon period.
Jean Camberg is one person who is knowledgeable about the struggles that face young married couples. Married herself for 42 years, Camberg has been a licensed social worker in Pennsylvania for many years, and has been an instructor in Health and Human Development for the past two years. She has studied the various reasons why couples, especially young ones, and why they do not seem to last very long.
“It is important that they need to go in with their eyes open,” said Camberg. “It won’t be easy but it will be worthwhile.”
There are various reasons why the divorce rates are rising, and Camberg has a few theories on why that is.
“The first major challenge is based on the economic situation of the two individuals,” noted Camberg. “The amount of student loans, the job market, and the uncertainty of present day economy all factor into early issues.”
Camberg is not far off in her assessment. According to the Office of Student Aid at Penn State, a Pennsylvania resident, which Katelyn is, has an estimated $15,984 for tuition and fees a year, which is not counting the additional costs of living during her college career. A four year degree will cost $63,936 for just the one person in the relationship, as well as cost of living really can put a strain on a couple.
The economic situation is only one of the problems that couples face. Another issue is a more intimate one, truly knowing if your significant other is the right person.
“The couple really needs to know each other and know what to expect going in,” Camberg stresses. “You never really know someone until you live with them.”
Camberg noted that cohabitation has become a regular occurrence for couples before they decide to marry of getting together for marriage. Although this is more common today, Katelyn currently lives with her parents, and not Tony.
“I’m not worried that I don’t live with him because when he was going to WVU, we spent weekends together,” said Katelyn. “Even when we fought we learned how to communicate and work out our problems as a team.”
With all of this in mind, Curtis hopes they know what they are getting themselves in for as they prepare to get married.
“I think they need to know that they are both ready for it,” said Curtis. “It is a big step for them.”
Sherry just hopes that her baby girl has made the right choice.
“I worry about her everyday, and I hope this is the right move for her,” said Sherry. “I just hope she finds her happiness.”